Make It A Habit: Adopt a Problem-Solving Mindset

Our partners at the Convergence Center for Policy Resolution keyed us into going from a “traditional mindset to a problem-solving mindset.” Changing how you see a situation and your role in it can make the difference between success and failure when working with others to solve problems. Here are some tips to help you resolve conflicts by focusing on finding solutions instead of getting stuck in arguments:

1. Conflict Is Scary -> Conflict Is Healthy. Many people view conflict negatively and avoid it at all costs. When faced with friction, we go silent, change the subject, or walk away. Bottling up your emotions like this can be unhealthy physically and psychologically — and it sure doesn’t lead to solving problems! Teach yourself how to lean into conflict healthily. Practice using conflict resolution tools at home, work, and with friends.

2. Conflict is NOT a winner-take-all game. If you want to solve problems, drop the competitive attitude. Ask yourself: Do I want to win? Or do I want a wise solution? If your goal is a solution that works, stop yourself from acting like you’ll get some sort of medal at the end. (I’m looking at you, politicians!)

3. There is one right way, or is there? A problem-solving mindset requires accepting that no group or ideology has all the answers. In theory, this is obvious. But in practice, this means that whomever you conflict with likely has some correct answers along with what you consider wrong answers. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater; accept that good ideas can come from your counterpart just as quickly as from you. 

4. Solving problems is not fighting a battle; it’s building a bridge. Two or more sides use power to overcome the others when you fight a war. When you build a bridge, everyone has to use their skills to make the architecture work. The mathematician can’t do it alone, nor can the carpenter or stonecutter. Everyone is on the same side, figuring out how to build this tricky structure to be safe and durable. Participants aren’t your adversaries — they are your co-solvers. 

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