Calls For Unity at the DNC — But We Need More Than Words

There were many messages of unity and depolarization at the recent DNC. For example, Obama pointed out that so many of us are “so quick to assume the worst in others unless they agree with us on every single issue.”¹ Oprah Winfrey said that, despite what many of us think, “we are not so different from our neighbors.”² (At the same time, harsh words aimed at Trump made his supporters see the words of unity as hypocritical.)

These are the kinds of messages we want to hear more of from all political leaders — Democrats and Republicans. But here’s the thing: words alone aren’t enough. If leaders truly want to reduce the fear and anger many Americans feel towards each other, they must turn those words into action. Doing so in a way that speaks to Americans across the political spectrum will take real effort and discipline. 

Without those efforts, words of unity are just messaging. And messaging won’t heal our animosity and division.

What we want to see more of: 

1. Being “soft on people but hard on ideas”: Criticizing someone’s ideas or policies is different from attacking them as a person. We need to hear more about why certain ideas are good or bad and less about how the people who hold them are good or bad. 
2. More engagement: Our political landscape often makes us feel like engaging with the “other side” is a loss for “our side.” When we stop trying to engage with those who don’t think like us, we divide ourselves further. Talking with our opponents is not just about winning arguments: it helps us understand each other better. 
3. Cross-party collaboration and problem-solving: We’d love to see more leaders and activists follow our lead in bringing ideologically diverse people together to arrive at consensus solutions. We believe there is so much untapped potential in the Citizen Solutions approach.  

Contrary to what our instincts often tell us, depolarizing approaches can also be successful political strategies. 

What we need less of:

1. Personal insults and attacks: Attacking people or groups is never convincing to those on the other side. While we know political debates will always have sharp language (we’re not Pollyannas), we can all try to cut down on unnecessary insults that only serve to deepen divides. Our intense emotions can also lead us to believe and share false information, which, in turn, also amplifies our divides. We should be aware of these tendencies and, when we criticize, make our criticisms as accurate and fair as possible.
2. Overly negative or inaccurate framings: Conflict can make us see our opponents in the worst possible light, and our emotions can also play a role in leading us to believe and share false information. These things, in turn, amplify our divides. We should be aware of these tendencies and try our best to focus on what’s true and fair, rather than what aligns with our narratives and fears.
3. Refusal to work together: Political passion should drive us toward solutions, not away from them.

Understanding different perspectives

Many Trump supporters felt the DNC event was divisive. It’s important to understand why. When Trump is harshly criticized, his supporters often feel like they’re being personally attacked, even if that isn’t the intent. It can feel insulting to be told that someone you support is dangerous to the country (just as it can feel insulting to liberal people to be told their ideas are dangerous). 

There are also instances where people assume the worst about what Trump and other Republicans say and do or repeat false information about them (intentionally or accidentally). For Trump supporters, this feels like proof that those against Trump are out to get him in unfair and irresponsible ways. This perception adds to the anger and division.

These factors help explain how Americans can see the same event but come away with completely different interpretations.

Moving forward

We can’t completely avoid all the ways our divides make many of us feel scared, attacked, and insulted. This is part of living in a country where many citizens hold very different beliefs, and many citizens have serious concerns about the “other side” and the threats they pose. But we can work towards lowering the temperature. By understanding each other better and being more thoughtful in our words and actions, we can take steps toward healing our country.

If you want to read more thoughts on the importance of actions and not just words, read this piece on why Biden failed to achieve unity. We share it not because we endorse every argument, but because it contains some thought-provoking ideas. 

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Footnotes

¹ Section from Barack Obama’s DNC speech related to reducing divides: “Democracy isn’t just a bunch of abstract principles and dusty laws in some book somewhere. It’s the values we live by. It’s the way we treat each other, including those who don’t look like us or pray like us or see the world exactly like we do. That sense of mutual respect has to be part of our message. Our politics have become so polarized these days that all of us across the political spectrum seem so quick to assume the worst in others unless they agree with us on every single issue. We start thinking that the only way to win is to scold and shame and out-yell the other side.”

² Section from Oprah Winfrey’s DNC speech related to reducing divides: “But more often than not, what I’ve witnessed and experienced are human beings, both conservative and liberal, who may not agree with each other, but who would still help you in a heartbeat if you were in trouble… Despite what some would have you think, we are not so different from our neighbors. When a house is on fire, we don’t ask about the homeowner’s race or religion. We don’t wonder who their partner is or how they voted. No, we just try to do the best we can to save them.”