Spot Positive Deviance

Now is the time to locate the groups and organizations that have already been navigating tense divisions between you and the "other side" and who can provide you with the kinds of support often necessary to do so effectively or even act as a model.

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Exercises

Choose Your Lift Level

What do you have capacity for today? Whether it's a light lift, or something a little heavier, taking a step is what counts.

5 minutes 20 minutes 1-2 hours

5 minutes

See How Others Are Finding a Way Out

Check out this introductory video from the One Small Step initiative and these two other videos (video one and video two), or listen to one or more of these Stories of Hope.

The Science Behind It

The good news these days is that despite our rising political contempt, many Americans in the political middle are finding ways to speak with others across the divide and make connections. No, they aren't reconciling their differences over fraught issues like the Trump presidency or gun safety, but they are coming to recognize their shared concerns, hopes, and dreams. These encounters can begin to seed and increase the positive-to-negative ratio discussed in yesterday's Heavy Lift Exercise.

20 minutes

What Can You Contribute to the Solution?

Try the Find Your Community exercise.

Try The Exercise

The Science Behind It

Finding a way out of our culture of contempt will require recognizing that we will need many different kinds of people acting in different ways across our nation to begin reducing the odds of violence, healing our divides, and building a new future together. Given this, it is helpful to reflect on where your skills, orientations, and strengths fit in. Use this worksheet to think strategically about how you are most equipped to contribute.

1-2 hours

Reach Out to a Personal (Informal) Mediator

Try to find someone that you and the person you conflict with trust to help you sit down and have a more reasonable conversation.

If you have identified a challenging relationship for this exercise, you have likely already tried and failed to simply talk things out. If so, ask for help.

The Science Behind It

Most of us know people in our families, friend groups, or workplaces who seem to understand how to help others in conflict. They are not formal mediators, but they have often grown up in situations where they learned to listen, calm hostilities, and help others find common ground. It seems to come naturally to them (my oldest brother Bob was like this). Can you think of someone you both know and trust? If so, ask for their help.

This might involve asking them for advice on how best to approach this relationship differently - or what to keep in mind. Or, you might ask if they would be willing to sit down with you both and offer guidance and support in working things out.

Set a daily reminder

Get daily exercise reminders on your phone or email throughout The Challenge to stay on track.

Better navigate politically polarizing situations

Repair strained relationships with family and friends

Become a less reactive and more effective communicator